Northwest Psychology Blog

Relationship Building for Teens with ASD

4/11/2022

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is characterized by difficulties with social communication. For teens with ASD, this can look like difficulty having a back-and-forth conversation, abnormal eye contact or body language, or lacking facial expressions.

These challenges can lead to difficulties developing and maintaining friendships. Without friendships, the teenage years can be lonely and even more challenging than they usually are. Relationships with peers is a huge part of being a teenager, so the isolation that a teen with ASD can experience can be a barrier to their healthy development and quality of life.

As parents, we want to be able to give solutions and fix problems for our children. Supporting our teens in being social and developing meaningful relationships can improve their possible feelings of loneliness.

Here are some ways to support your teen while they navigate new friendships:

Highlight Cues

Explicitly talk about how feelings and help your teen notice the related body language. Even by pointing out how characters in a television show feel and look, your teen can begin recognizing how to notice emotional cues in their peers. For example, “that girl is sad about breaking up with her boyfriend. I know because she’s crying and her shoulders are slumped.”

Model your emotional expression.

Showing your teen what your emotions look like can help them see those emotions in others. If they learn from you that being quiet can show that someone is sad, they might be more sensitive to peers who are quieter than usual at school.

Model emotional support.

If you know your teen or another family member is struggling, model empathy. Saying something like “can I do anything to make you feel better?” might give your teen an idea of how to connect with their peers in the future.

Talk about your friendships

Share with your teen how spending time with others makes you feel. Talk about why the friendships in your life are important to you by saying things like “I love seeing Rachel because we can talk to each other about our shared interests.”

Find their 'tribe'

Find community supports and resources that connect ASD teens with like-minded others. There are many opportunities for your teen to meet similar others and develop meaningful friendships.

Find external help

Access support for your teen through individual counselling. Feelings of loneliness can affect your teen’s self-esteem. If they are struggling with other areas of their mental health, individual counselling could be helpful. Many practitioners at Northwest Psychology specialize in working with children and teens.

Teens with autism spectrum disorder face challenges in building friendships that their typically developing peers might not face. The suggestions above offer some concrete ways to support your teen in building meaningful, healthy relationships that will make their teenage years enjoyable.

Author
Kelly Williams
Registered Provisional Psychologist
April 2022

1 Comment

Emotions for Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

4/6/2022

1 Comment

Emotions can be hard to understand and cope with for anyone, including fully functioning adults. Add being a teenager and having autism spectrum disorder (ASD) to that, and emotions can become a completely overwhelming and frustrating part of life.

The teenage years typically involve the desire for more independence. It’s also an important time for figuring out how to connect with peers, siblings, and parents. Without a grasp on what emotions are and how they affect us, these tasks can feel impossible. Teenagers with ASD are also faced with unique challenges that their typically developing peers may not face.

For example, young people with ASD often struggle to accurately recognize, name, and explain the emotions they feel. This makes it hard for family members to help when they see their teen struggle. They also have a harder time interpreting and predicting emotions that the people around them might feel, making it difficult to connect to others and build relationships.

As parents, we want our children to be happy and healthy. However, when we are unsure of how to support them, it can feel helpless. Here is a list of ways that can help support a teen in understanding and dealing with emotions:

✔️ Offer up new language for naming emotions. Black and white thinking is typical of people with ASD, so it is possible that your teen is lacking the language to share their feelings. Using a mixture of words when talking about feelings can help with this.

✔️ Model emotional expression. If you are feeling happy, describe to your teen what that feels like for you. Saying things like “I am really looking forward to my day today! I have lots of energy and am feeling really comfortable in my body” can give your teens some insight into how they might identify and share this same feeling.

✔️ Share the hard feelings too. Not shying away from talking about harder emotions like sadness, frustration, or anger is important. Normalizing these feelings for your teen will encourage them to open up when they’re not feeling great. Sharing something like “I am worried about how my meeting is going to go at work today. I’m feeling jittery and keep thinking about what could go wrong” can allow your teen to see that ALL emotions are a normal part of life.

✔️ Offer coping strategies that work for you. If you know your teen is struggling, share what helps to calm you down. Keep in mind that different strategies might work better for your teen.

✔️ Be patient when your teen is trying to share their feelings with you. Give them the time and space to reflect on their feelings and access the appropriate words.

✔️ Help them set healthy boundaries with sharing. While helping your teen navigate the world of emotions may be your goal, it is still important to remember that they might be striving for independence in their teenage years. Offer open communication around feelings, but also keep options like journaling or counselling open if your teen does not want to divulge every feeling to their parent.

Emotions are an important and complex part of everyone's life, especially for teenagers with autism spectrum disorder. While it can be difficult for them to understand and express their feelings, it is still crucial that they do so. There are various ways to help teens with ASD manage their emotions, such as through therapy or medication. With the right support, they can learn to cope with their emotions and lead happy, fulfilling lives.

Author :
Kelly Williams
Registered Provisional Psychologist
April, 2022

1 Comment