Relationship Building for Teens with ASD

​Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is characterized by difficulties with social communication. For teens with ASD, this can look like difficulty having a back-and-forth conversation, abnormal eye contact or body language, or lacking facial expressions.

These challenges can lead to difficulties developing and maintaining friendships. Without friendships, the teenage years can be lonely and even more challenging than they usually are. Relationships with peers is a huge part of being a teenager, so the isolation that a teen with ASD can experience can be a barrier to their healthy development and quality of life. 

​As parents, we want to be able to give solutions and fix problems for our children. Supporting our teens in being social and developing meaningful relationships can improve their possible feelings of loneliness.

Here are some ways to support your teen while they navigate new friendships:

Highlight Cues

Explicitly talk about how feelings and help your teen notice the related body language. Even by pointing out how characters in a television show feel and look, your teen can begin recognizing how to notice emotional cues in their peers. For example, “that girl is sad about breaking up with her boyfriend. I know because she’s crying and her shoulders are slumped.”

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​Model your emotional expression. 

Showing your teen what your emotions look like can help them see those emotions in others. If they learn from you that being quiet can show that someone is sad, they might be more sensitive to peers who are quieter than usual at school. 

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Model emotional support.

If you know your teen or another family member is struggling, model empathy. Saying something like “can I do anything to make you feel better?” might give your teen an idea of how to connect with their peers in the future.

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Talk about your friendships

Share with your teen how spending time with others makes you feel. Talk about why the friendships in your life are important to you by saying things like “I love seeing Rachel because we can talk to each other about our shared interests.”

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Find their 'tribe'

Find community supports and resources that connect ASD teens with like-minded others. There are many opportunities for your teen to meet similar others and develop meaningful friendships.

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Find external help​
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Access support for your teen through individual counselling. Feelings of loneliness can affect your teen’s self-esteem. If they are struggling with other areas of their mental health, individual counselling could be helpful. Many practitioners at Northwest Psychology specialize in working with children and teens.

Teens with autism spectrum disorder face challenges in building friendships that their typically developing peers might not face. The suggestions above offer some concrete ways to support your teen in building meaningful, healthy relationships that will make their teenage years enjoyable.

Author 
Kelly Williams
Registered Provisional Psychologist
​April 2022